There's the "Guess where my other hand is" girl.
Is it just me or is this chick showing an awful lot of tit for a cracker-spread ad?
Poor thing. Her soul-crushing suburban existence has so numbed her to pleasure, the only way she can feel anything is by chafing her nub while eating cheese pretzels. From the state of her hair, looks like she's been at it all morning, too. Thus are fetishes born.
Finally, there's a woman who has abandoned all pretense of sanity and has given herself completely to the unholy demons of The Laughing Cowe.
Imagine you're at a pleasant afternoon social engagement and a woman sitting alone in a hideous chair begins rocking violently in her seat, collapsing in on herself with laughter. Along the reaction spectrum, would yours be closer to, "Fuck me standing, that must be some good cheese," or, "Does she think that cracker is telling her jokes?" In the real world, she'd be permanently hooked up to a lithium drip and only allowed to write with crayons, but here, she's just a joyful soul helpless in the face of delicious hilarity.
I don't know why Laughing Cow decided only women enjoy (according to their packaging) "light spreadable original cheese flavor wedges," (mmm) but throwing in some curd-crazy males would have been a nice gesture towards equality.
Commercials like this are so terrible on so many levels, it makes me physically winded. There's too much to notice. It's like watching a tornado uproot a mini-mall and trying to describe every piece of nail-salon debris that whings by. Sexism? Yes, we have a duffel stuffed with sexism. Ridiculous soundtrack implying that women should never, ever stop eating? Yes, and made all the worse by the fact that the original music video for the "Don't Stop" song features a woman being tied to a railroad tie and run over with a steam locomotive, which only makes psychopaths hungry for cheese, if I'm remembering Psych 101 correctly. And does the ad cap everything off with a batshit voiceover that makes as much sense as enrolling a bagful of hornets in architecture classes? Well, shall we take a quick gander?
I laugh for a few reasons. The suffering of old and/or orthodox religious people is one, and funny things is a close runner-up. It is a fairly complicated list, so let me walk you through one salient point you may have missed: the caloric content of my snacks is nowhere on it. Even if that number were very, very small or very, very large, it would be a diverting curiosity at best, not a sidesplitting Vaudeville routine.
Unless you're this lunatic, of course.